There’s a Zen saying somewhere
about continuing to seek the place
you have already arrived.
When I was young
and starting to have deep thoughts,
I dreamed of finding the minds
of artists and readers
and I assumed this was located
in a glamourous place.
You know, salons and all that.
But I had a watershed moment one day
while living in a little maroon and tan house
in Mar Vista off Venice Boulevard.
There was a treehouse in the backyard
perched in an avocado tree.
Our entire bathroom was a cube
of large, sea-blue shower tiles.
We hosted Thanksgiving some years
with very interesting people
who were friends of friends.
We had a little family, my friends
who showed me art films and museums
and how to talk about them.
I had even more deep thoughts then
and dreamed of finding that smart set
of intellectuals who talked about museums
and books all day, like in French cafés and all that.
One day in that house it occurred to me
I was already there. That house was the place.
I had arrived and not noticed.
I didn’t see where I was
because I was too busy looking for it.
What I was seeking had snuck up on me
like a lark or a prank. How long
this was happening, my not noticing?
I would say maybe a few years.
It’s difficult to see where you are
at any given point, seize the day,
smell the flowers and all that.
Could it be
you have already won
and you just need to claim it?